Everyone has heard the don’t’s that threaten time travel disasters: “Don’t meet your past self!” “Don’t so much as even sneeze on the timeline,” “Don’t date your great-great grandmother no matter how hot she is!” Don’t, Don’t, Don’t! But time travelers are “Do-ers” not “Don’t-ers” and all that can’t-do talk can really get a time traveler down. Hey, you didn’t companion-up, wait all those years for time travel to be invented, or actually invent time travel to then get all negative about it.

Still, there are hard and fast rules established by the Time Authority that every traveler needs to know. The Time Authority is a multi-century, multi-timeline regulatory agency in charge of keeping the timeline consistent, linear, and like a high-fiber diet for the timestream — regular. A recently “found” guidebook to time travel provides user-friendly tips to understanding the Authority’s laws and how to stay safely on the right side of them. Here we’ll slowly dole out the list of top time-traveling “No-No’s” to keep the traveler on the straight and narrow — non-linearly, of course — slowly in case the TA finds this information harmful to the timeline.