Like Teeth Were Going Out Of Style

Dinosaurs at golden hour

Dinosaurs at golden hour

Nothing will turn the dino-bent traveler away from the promise of historical big game — not even threats of Time Authority sanctioned punishment. Time travelers just love big game and the biggest game lives in pre-history (or the future when cloning goes dino-friendly). There is just no denying the need to see big beasts up close and for-reals. But be warned! It’s not just dinosaur guts being slow-cooked into 20th Century gasoline — fallen time travelers are trapped in the unleaded too.

The truth is those suckers were big — those suckers ARE big. It’s important to note the logistical realities of being near big-big game (we’ll hammer the bullet-points next time). This time, listen up: Your Time Authority commands you not to travel to the Triassic-Jurrassic-Cretaceous. Stay this side of the big impact. Even better: put a piece of tape on that time dial so it won’t turn past the 66 million years mark. It’s important to understand the concept of linear perspective. What looks fantastic from a distance, sometimes gets less so the closer the traveler gets. A few long minutes, or sometimes only seconds, in the Jurassic helps a traveler understand pretty quick. We recommend the traveler-to-be stew in these warning — let them sink in. Next we’ll give pointers to the bad listeners who still insist on a dino jaunt.