As near-space travel proliferates, it very quickly gets guest-friendly and affordable. What starts as high-flung Earth orbits for over a million a pop becomes the next cottage industry for the twenty-thirties (the cottage being a Russian Zarya Syem cargo hold). Travelers visiting Earth’s near future will learn that Lunar homesteading soon morphs into a more realistic endeavor: inn-keeping.

Time travelers familiar with the lunar landscape of the farther future will enjoy the quaintness and down-home “Earthiness” of early lunar B & B’s.

One of our favorites is Bob and Helen’s Victorian B&B — established 2033. Bob and Helen’s has fresh hot towels in the morning and every room has a view of Earth as well as its own bathroom. Apollo World-Heritage Site trips are easy to arrange– just talk to Helen and Bob bakes up the freshest strawberry scones this side of Tycho — his secret: water!

Sure you’re sure-footed? It’s a tough jog through the deep-past, the far-future, or the mixed-up alternate.  Much of time travel is a run-for-your-life affair, which burns plenty of calories; to that end, you need to know when you’re in for a sprint. The “Lace It Up” icon will tell you when to wear your running shoes and tie those double-knots!

…with Quick Reference ICONS for On-the-Run Usability.

Head-spinning physics and quantum-level catastrophes can weigh on the traveler and take a toll emotionally and physically (META-physically). Not to worry, we’ve made the maddening minutia of time travel tips easier to understand. The following icons will alert, inform, and keep you flowing on the right side of the linear.

1. B.F. TEETH!

That’s “Big-Fat Teeth!” and the expression usually follows the words: “Oh My god, look at those…” Some travelers enjoy the thrill of encountering “big game” but must dislike the downside,  being eaten alive. To avoid destinations heavy in the tooth-on-bone contact, you should look for this helpful warning.

2. TRAVELER ALERT!

When you see this logo, it’s time to get packing! The timeline may be fixed but prices aren’t! Time Authority Travel Agents are constantly discovering hot new deals in the flashiest historic locales. Your T.A. has discovered the finest ancient Nile wine & dine cruises to the most romantic Lunar B & Bs.