1. GETTING CLOSE: First, Don’t! If you absolutely can’t control yourself, at least THINK before you approach a dinosaur. The novice traveler inevitably gets too close (you need those hands for your time dials).

The fact is time traveler or not, dinosaurs are inconsistent with your timeline which leads to pretty severe fight or flight mis-fires. The traveler seems to lose his natural instinct for self-preservation but it’s actually just the human body being unable to come to terms with seeing things that big.

2: DON’T BELIEVE YOUR MOVIES: 20th century movies have misinformed you about how to act around dinosaurs. In the movies, dinosaurs are shot in SLOW MOTION giving a false impression about their speed and there’s just no way to accurately capture how big they are. Seeing dinosaurs up close can make you lose your breath and maybe your bowels too. When the Brachiosaurus stops chewing and looks up at you — She’s all: “What are you looking at? And you’re all: “I can’t formulate a coherent sequence of thoughts.” — you should already be running!