How To Time Travel Now

Some Seeding Required

2 Comments

“Seeding Your Timeline” Found Footage

Your Time Authority is hard at work throughout the stream of time. “Some Seeding Required”. Some say the timeline has been seeded all throughout history to ready the future and past for the eventuality of time travel. Seeding comes in many forms, just as a gardener tends to her farm with a wide variety of tools. It seems one such “seed” come as “teasers” or video advertisements. Those who have paid close attention to these archives as well as associated time travel history will know items are constantly being left behind or “dropped” on the timeline. These drops are noted closely by those who really care — be it the TA or other less respectable institutions for time security and linear integrity, (your Authority will detail these organizations and rank their damage-threat to the timeline in a future post).

Time travel promotion items are being left along the path forward on what will be eventual and normalized travel through time. Some of these items are: time travel guides (both brand new and heavily work and notated),  informational disks wrapped in protective tin foil, or as content on mysterious websites. It only makes sense that as the inevitable transition into a time traveling future draws closer, more items will be left behind for “finding” or as put before: the seeding has begun!

Your current TA, or the TA of this era, exists as little more than a skeleton crew of future-forward travelers. This early-on TA waits anxiously for news from the TA which exists in full power further along the timeline. As we here at the current TA wait for our numbers to grow, we steadily receive the seeds that will help grow our future organization from the others.

Time Traveler storms off
From The Future, How To Time Travel Now

Time Traveler One — Interviewed!

Gallery 18 Comments
The first Time Authority (TA) sanctioned interview with a Time Traveler goes off the rails.

The first Time Authority (TA) sanctioned interview with a Time Traveler goes off the time rails.

Time Travel Interview goes awry. Time traveler is denied
“Keep your 2014 hands to yourself lowly past citizen” or at least that’s how the interviewer felt.

Time Traveler storms off

The unfortunate ending to the first interview with a time traveler

The first Time Traveler has been interviewed and enthusiasts of time travel have found the exchange either promising or frustrating depending on their linear perspective. The novelty of an interview with an actual time traveler has been lost on some time travel “haters”. Others have found the exchange between interviewer and traveler spirited and inspiring .

The interviewee claims to have traveled from the far future back to our point in time. The future traveler states he was sent with a message for us back here in the past. Our current representative did as thorough an interview as possible within the parameters that the traveler permitted. Prior to the interview there were numerous “drops” of information to inform the interviewer and Time Authority. These packages were left at pre-arranged locations and as answering machine messages received by the interviewer through time.

Some viewers have noted that the interviewer and the traveler share  a distinctness in similarity. These viewers have implied that the interviewer and interviewee might be the same person. Additionally, others have been critical of the traveler’s sense of fashion (or lack of). These meandering and unsubstantiated accusations are at once discouraging and confused. The idea that an institution (even in its fetal phase) as important as The Time Authority wasting time manipulating footage is tedious and ridiculous. It would require complicated green-screening then carefully matching answer footage  with footage of the questions.  As for fashion, the traveler and crew had long discussions about how he would first present himself. Both traveler and crew were aware that the choice would not go un-criticized.

In the end, the TA stands by this first interview even when the traveler does not — he storms out. Even though the traveler didn’t stay, the messages he began filtering are important:

  • Time travel is real.
  • Time travel will happen in our lifetime.
  • The future holds uncertainties and lessons for us in the past.

If the the time travel enthusiast hasn’t yet encountered this interview, your Time Authority recommends doing so now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D97HQkFcrI

How To Time Travel Now

Project Pegasus?

Image 2 Comments

 

Time travelers are starting to show up everywhere. Just watch your local news

The Time Authority is busy perpetuating the notion of time travel as a reality. This “seeding” of the timeline is beginning to propagate and evidence of it is all around, for those who are looking. Time travel has begun showing up more frequently in popular media including the evening news in which “Project Pegasus” has been featured.

Project Pegasus might sound magical and glittery but  time travel enthusiasts have been talking about the truth of this secret government project for years. For those waiting until another version of themselves pops up in a time machine — good news!  Project Pegasus believers claim this kind of non-linear meet and greet is already happening.

Project Pegasus was a government plan that sent children and their parents through time.  Some call it time travel, others say it was an experiment in teleportation. Andrew Basiago claims it’s real and he experienced it. This sounds unbelievable to those who haven’t opened their minds to the many possibilities of a timeline  being liberally used by travelers.  For those who believe time travel is relevant and in the first stages of invention, Project Pegasus is another piece of evidence that travelers are with us.

“Imagine a world in which one could jump through Grand Central Teleport in New York City, travel through a vortal tunnel in the time-space continuum, and emerge several seconds later at Union Teleport in Los Angeles. Such a world has been possible since 1968, when teleportation was first achieved by DARPA’s Project Pegasus. When my quest, Project Pegasus, succeeds, such a world will emerge, and human beings linked globally via teleportation will proclaim the Time-Space Age has begun.”

— Andrew D. Basiago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKhjlzOfZ-s

Lil' Timey, Tips For The Traveler

Time Traveler Rule #2

Image Leave a comment

Time Travel Rule #2: You break it you buy it… FOREVER.

Break something — a Prehistoric Egyptian jar (brand-new and at the same time preciously old) — crash the first Model T, or lose a contact lens in 1902 — the traveler is advised to visit the nearest Time Authority Remediation Branch and admit guilt to aid in the historical scrub-down. The Eternal Lord Bradbury has been proven right over and over again concerning his “Don’t step no bugs” edict. The traveler is cautioned to find a balance between traveler’s O.C.D. and reckless breakage of historic artifacts. Remember, on the timeline everything is a historic artifact.

 

Tips For The Traveler

Time Travel Rule #1

6 Comments

Time Travel RuleFor all those waiting to learn the Do’s & Don’ts or just how a time traveler is to behave on the timeline — your wait is over!

The trickle-down of Time Travel Rules is about to begin so gas up your time cars, flux up your capacitors, and dial in your booths because traveling through time’s about to get more coherent.

Remember that all Time Travel Rules have been created and sanctioned by your Time Authority.

Time Travel Rule #1: Never Alter the Timeline for Altruistic Reasons

No matter how much you want to change up the timeline, don’t do it. The never-ending list of historic horrors invites the best intentioned traveler to correct the timeline and many seasoned travelers will try to do just that. One only has to scratch the surface of the timeline to glimpse the depth of human depravity but the TA demands: don’t scratch it too deeply! Altering tragic histories, no matter how good your intentions, always screws up the “Now” and the TA really hates that kind of interference.

You as traveler will most certainly encounter a “Time Anarchist” going rogue on the timeline. These Timeline agitators can be seen cordless-drilling holes in the Santa Maria, dropping Dee-Con rat-traps in 1350’s England, or  loosening bolts in the Apollo’s ladder in 1969. If you  go Anarchist you’ll have to ask yourself how much you care about the integrity of your timeline and how much do you care about your traveling buddies. Look to your left because your time traveling pal might not be there after you tweak the past. The traveler is spectator first, second, and always.

Tips For The Traveler

Early Man Snacks

2 Comments

Caveman BAG copyEating is one big deal in the early human world and our simple recommendation is this: bring lots of snacks. Bring snacks for you and bring snacks for your new-found evolutionary pals!

Trust us — show up in a time machine and E.M. will come sniffing (people are damn curious no matter how high or low we stand on the evolutionary scale). If you show up in a flash of light and a metal box, you had better come with something to offer (A.K.A.: snacks!).

Since there’s no written language until 3200 BCE, Early Man can grunt on and on about your future gift food without leaving a written historic note to influence the timeline. We suggest a simple trail mix recipe it’s super fast to throw together and easy on the pocket. Feel free to hand out this trail mix to the E.M. you meet but beware of the bag! That plastic-metallic-poly bag never, ever erases from the timeline and that leads directly to traveler interference or TA Rule #3: “Don’t Litter on the Timeline”.

Use Those Thumbs — (The Perfect Early Trail Mix)

(Mix up any dried fruit available at your modern supermarket (aisle 5 next to the soup). The traveler has no idea what a big deal it is to eat dried fruit –historically speaking. Dried strawberries or pineapples are a mind-blowing delicacy to E.M.

  • 2 cups oatmeal, Rice Checks, really any cereal, bread crumbs — something grainy and processed — whatever!
  • 1 cup of dried (cheap stuff because you’re going to need more) raisins, raspberries, blueberries, pineapples, or strawberries
  • 1 cup of peanuts with shell — Nuts are okay despite what some claim about time travelers creating nut allergies
  • 1 box of powdered milk (yes, confounding powdered milk — it’s one of the eternal unanswerable questions: how does one drink dried milk?)
  • 1 cup sand
  • Mix all contents in a (see warning) plastic bag and shake! Shake it as much or as little as you like, it really doesn’t matter — it’s going onto the ground

Sprinkle your trail mix on the forest floor then, importantly, stand back! Once the local E.M. sniff out your trail mix (on a trail or not), they’ll come loping in fast.

How To Time Travel Now

The Do’s and Irritating Don’t’s of Time Travel

9 Comments

Do / DontEveryone has heard the don’t’s that threaten time travel disasters: “Don’t meet your past self!” “Don’t so much as even sneeze on the timeline,” “Don’t date your great-great grandmother no matter how hot she is!” Don’t, Don’t, Don’t! But time travelers are “Do-ers” not “Don’t-ers” and all that can’t-do talk can really get a time traveler down. Hey, you didn’t companion-up, wait all those years for time travel to be invented, or actually invent time travel to then get all negative about it.

Still, there are hard and fast rules established by the Time Authority that every traveler needs to know. The Time Authority is a multi-century, multi-timeline regulatory agency in charge of keeping the timeline consistent, linear, and like a high-fiber diet for the timestream — regular. A recently “found” guidebook to time travel provides user-friendly tips to understanding the Authority’s laws and how to stay safely on the right side of them. Here we’ll slowly dole out the list of top time-traveling “No-No’s” to keep the traveler on the straight and narrow — non-linearly, of course — slowly in case the TA finds this information harmful to the timeline.

Time Waves, Tips For The Traveler

You Plus You Go Boom

10 Comments

Hand Shake“Hey, you look familiar!”  “You too!” — Two versions of the same traveler on different timelines — can you be in the same place at the same time? Can you look into each others eyes and say “what the…”?

Popular culture has perpetuated a number of time travel myths, fallacies, and down right lies about time travel. Maybe it’s ignorance or a deliberate plot to misinform perpetuated by the C.N.R., (Counter-Non-Linear Revolutionaries). Despite popular time travel beliefs, meeting your future or past self does not cause the timeline to unravel, brains to explode, or the universe to end in a wimper. Two yous can exist at once. You and you can even touch each other, dispelling another TT fallacy about instant combustion when coming into contact with your other self. Go ahead, shake hands, slap five, or give yourself a hug; it’s weird but harmless.

 

Tips For The Traveler

Knuckle-Dragging Part 1

28 Comments

Caveman Natural1.3

Only slightly less dangerous than the Triassic-Cretaceous-Jurassic triple threat is going “knuckle-dragging” as some witless travelers call it. Early human history is, again, much too inviting to persuade the traveler not to visit — why fight it?

Your T.A. has created a series of hard-earned lessons for how to deal with our big-browed brothers.

E.M. (Early Man) are our genetic forbearers, but that shouldn’t fool the traveler; they differ greatly from the evolved. Depending on when you arrive, E.M. can be moody, unpredictable, and hungry.  Then again, maybe they are just like us.